Just Like Any Other....

14^th June 2010

I have had a rotten start to the week because my purse was pick pocketed off me. I spent most of the day cancelling cards and trying to see if they may leave it on the bus. The facts are they are opportunists’ and I was their victim. Thankfully I never carry much money in my purse. So what little they did steal off me won’t go far. 

Steve did not sympathise at all because I should  not carry loads of bits in my purse, only what I need that day. My reply was blunt “I needed it that day!”

He offered me his travel card, but I said I could get a new one tomorrow.

Later on I shouted out three times ‘I hope who has my purse receives plenty bad luck.’ Sounds crazy, but I felt tons better at saying it. If it works they will get no satisfaction out of the money or my purse. Besides my mum bought me that purse as a gift so it has sentimental value.

The following day after dropping Sophia off at school my mobile rang. The Barclays branch at Ealing Broadway had a member of the public hand in my purse this morning. I don’t know how it got there, but it looks like my little shout worked because I have got my purse back minus the money. I would not recommend people do this, but hey, it worked for me because I got my purse back. 

Willow foundation phoned to say they have organised a back stage pass for the ‘Lion King’ production at the Lyceum. I am so pleased because I get to see all the costumes and compare their efforts with the stuff I make.

I also went to see one of the productions I did costumes for. It had a standing ovations all round which is excellent news for the director. Although I am not an actress and would not want to be one. The stage amazes me and the work that goes into setting up a show. People think you just flick a switch and it is all done, but it takes weeks of prep work. The costumes are continually being altered and changed because the directors decision is never final. Thankfully this was not the case for this production. All the costume decisions were made by the director. The only thing I designed and made was the nineteen waistcoats in two sizes.

One of the previous pupils from the theatre was chatting to me at the end of the show. The usual how are you? My reply although false was a happy one. Forever the joker with humorous comments hidden behind the real truth. The theatre is an escape from the real truth of my real blight. Without the distraction of making costumes I am not sure how I would of handled this last year. My marriage is a mess and in general my life is just to breath rather than be happy. I can honestly say I have never ever felt this lonely in my life, but this is not because of the cancer. It is because of the people I surround myself with or lack of.

I had another strange dream and I swear I am going mad or something is not right in my head. They say in dreams you live out your conscious thoughts and they are made into a jigsaw of events. Well I don’t know what my conscious thoughts were doing, but it was freaky.

I’m walking home and I see a child in a pushchair. The child I recognise as being from one of the parents at Sophia’s infant school. The child is crying out because she is on her own. I push her about in search of her mother, but I cannot see her. So for some reason I take her home. My dream turns into panic because it is some days later and I have not returned her to her parents. I start to plan how I can avoid getting into trouble. My thoughts are to leave her in a park and someone else will find her. Then I realise I cannot do that because someone might hurt her. Then I notice a stream near the house. I don’t understand why there is a stream. My dream switches again and I think about getting a false birth certificate and keeping her.

The clatter of the letter box and I wake up. Why on earth I was dreaming about a child and taking it is beyond me, but any answers would be appreciated.

I collect the mail to see Willow foundation have sent the tickets and the special day itinerary. My birthday is going to be the best I have ever had thanks to the Willow foundation. Let’s hope my husband is just as grateful to have is wife around for both of us to celebrate our birthdays together as a family.