Breast Cancer Rant!

I went to my GP appointment to sort the white cell injection out. On taking my seat in his office the conversation went straight into the complication of administering this injection and why people should not have that responsibility. Look Sarah if I give you the injection if anything goes wrong you can sue me. (Yes he was serious!) It was explained only the hospital that issued it should take responsibility for my care. The district nurses will not help because I’m under the big CC hospital rather than the big E hospital. My GP understood why I wanted a nurse to administer because of the unpredictability of the fits not the actual injection itself. I explained how the injection is prepped already and it has a self-administering needle. Once I had explained all of this my GP said he will administer the injection. The fact I had to travel for an hour to get the big CC hospital was to him out of the question. And at least if I did have a funny turn it was in a surgery not with someone who might panic.

On returning home I’m still pretty upset about how I had to go through all this stress for something that seemed so straight forward. Then I remember I have to reschedule an appointment I received for the big E hospital due to it clashing with my chemo session. Straight away I get through to my BC nurse and she says oh your half way through treatment you must be feeling it now in a jolly voice. I go into a sarcastic rant of well with the last week I’ve had I’m surprized I’m even bloody standing. I mean handsome Mr L had me waiting in his clinic for one hour and twenty minutes, only for me to be told you can go on your merry way. I mean he has not even said hi or bye since the damn damage done to my arm which could have been prevented if he had listened to me. She in reply tells me handsome Mr L did not even turn up for a meeting for the breast cancer group to inform them he would not be there. This left a group of women extremely upset because they had turned up to ask him about chemotherapy and the ups and downs. I reply well this man needs a boot up his righteous arse. And then I tell my BC nurse about the white cell injection saga and the portacath. Then to hit home how truly disappointed I am with my treatment I say, I have received better care with my high risk pregnancy and I’m bloody serious. I explained how I believed there had been a major cock-up and it all falls down to not receiving Herceptin. As a way of getting a reaction I say well if I received my treatment in America with a HER2 triple positive on biopsy results I would have received Herceptin. The BC nurses reply well we are not America…

So the question is… would you go for a second opinion if someone had offered to set it up for you?

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The Dreaded Confirmation Letter

The morning clunk from the . confirming my up coming treatment...

Dear Miss S,

Re: Mendoza, Sarah. DoB 29/07/1970 Sex F NHS **********

       18 M*** F*** Road, ******** Middlesex *** ***

Diagnosis:

1.         Left mastectomy and LD reconstruction October 2009 for wide spread high grade DCIS with micro invasion.

2.       3mm recurrence in reconstructed left breast with C5 axillary node August 2012 (Grade 3, ER 6/8, PR -, Her2 +++)

Many thanks for asking me to see this 42 year old youth worker whose history is well known to both of us. She underwent left mastectomy and LD reconstruction in October 2009 for fairly extensive high grade DCIS of the left breast with small areas of micro invasion. She remained well for 3 years thereafter but noticed a small nodularity in the left reconstructed breast which was subsequently biopsied confirming a recurrence of her disease. An excision of the area has confirmed a 3mm grade 3 invasive ductal carcinoma with excision complete but the margins being positive but HER2 staining was strongly positive. Despite there being no lymphovascular invasion a separate left axillary node also noted C5.

Mrs Mendoza who came with her husband and daughter is a type II diabetic although only diet controlled since the age of 19. She has two daughters aged 22 and 8 and in addition has a loop diathermy for CIN of the cervix in 1996.

Clinically her wounds have healed well and she will receive adjuvant FEC 75 chemotherapy which will commence on the 18^th September in view of the Grade 3 nature of her recurrence and her HER2 positivity

She will receive a total of 6 cycles of chemotherapy followed by adjuvant radiotherapy to the reconstructed left breast and thereafter a year of adjuvant herceptin coupled with Tamoxifen which she will take for a total of 5 years. Her longer-term outlook is excellent but I do note that she is peri menopausal with her mother having reached the menopause at age of 36. I have warned her that it is very likely that her periods will cease with the chemotherapy.

With many kind regards

Yours sincerely

Mr L

All I’m going to say is roll on tomorrow morning J

 

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Time to Kick Cancer Arse !!!!

My way of dealing with the ups and downs of prods and pokes is to go in search of a distraction. These small projects create a smile because I know people get enjoyment out of them. The past two weeks have flown by because of a child’s birthday party. To distract me from my upcoming treatment I built a princess tower or as I call it, my tower of strength.

 

Not only that I built a piñata and baked forty-eight cupcakes and designed the sleeves for them.

 

Plus ran up six table clothes to match the theme of the party.

Note to oneself do measure the drop from ceiling to floor next time Sarah!!!!

 

My friend said but Sarah your doing too much. My reply was, when going through the mastectomy in 2009 I did one hundred or more costumes for three productions and a ships wheel. Plus various other props just to get my mind round what I was facing. They helped me to stay focused on what was truly important and that is life itself not the doom under-note that cancer creates. We all fear, fear itself to stop doing what gives us pleasure is to lock yourself within a mental prison which could lead to a downward spiral. When I receive my chemotherapy I cannot say how I will fair, but I will stick to the same routines I have maintained from the very beginning. This is my way of dealing with the deck of cards I have been dealt. I am not a fool of course I will listen to my body, but I will remain Sarah. My image may change, but not my outlook on life... Now let’s kick cancers arse!!!

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Rebel of a Lymph Node....

Doodle Dandy

There is never a dull moment in cancer land. Today I spent two hours in hospital because a lump in my armpit needed to be checked out. It has been there for some time now, but it had decided to get a little bit bigger. So after I got my husband to check the lump was there and it was not me on the hypochondria train. I booked an appointment to visit the breast clinic for today. Was I nervous yes because I have never had a lump before now? Once the clinic had a good grope of both breasts and then examined my armpit on the right side they agreed it was better to air on the side of caution. My reply to the registrar was, ‘So I’m not a nuttier then?’ he smiled and said, ‘No you are not a nuttier.’  This made me feel better because I’d been playing with my mischievous lymph node for three months. I replied and I thought I had found a tinny friend in my armpit, but it turns out its not quite a friend. He laughed at my humorous comment and I was booked in to have an ultra sound of my breast and the lymph, along with a full blood works as routine.

My right breast wants to remain a rebel after losing its partner in crime and to be honest I don’t blame it. Poor buggar has been squished and jabbed even bits taken away, so no wonder it has a strop on and now my lymph wants to join in the fun and games. The thing is at least it is being dealt with minus the constant pain from the last lot of examinations I endured on this breast in January.

Tomorrow I am meeting up with a group of Maggie friends for another art class at a different hospital, so I am not dwelling on the outcome of today’s events. In fact I am finding a new way to distract me from the fog of cancer land and that is art therapy.  

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My Laughter Button!!!!

When things start to get you down it could be the tedious appointments or just the nagging aches and pains. The one thing I rely on is sadistic humour or sarcasm. It makes people realise hey if I can still smile and do what I do without interruption, then so can you.

Like when my husband the other day turned to me and said, he was bruised between his legs ( Sorry, visual turn off, TMI) from riding a bike. My reply was what do you expect you’re forty one and you haven’t ridden a bike for years and how do you think a woman feels after having sex. Where do you think the term saddle walk came from or saddle bag fanny. (Yes it is from riding a horse, but I’m enjoying every moment of this.) You could always buy a bike and jump back on the saddle and wear it  back in. My husband gives me a glare and I say try having a hot bath then. That is what they normally advise women to do after giving birth. Then I return to doing the household chores whilst getting the odd glimpse of him struggling with the pain, which brings a devilish smile on my face.

No doubt he will be returning to his work place today with load moans and groans to get the attention he requires being a man and all. But sorry he will get zero comfort from his wife because I am still walking his daughter to school and back with my sciatic nerve trapped. Yes it is my choice to walk, but his is self inflicted by acting out his return to youthful vigour, and I did encourage the stupid fool just so I could have a giggle at his expense. I already know what my next move will be, frozen peas with a wicked glint of satisfaction. He did not fall for that move though shame, shame.

The things that I find humorous currently are at my husbands’ expense, come to think of it at any mans expense. Yet with this journey I must have some fun, it’s just gone a little darker than usual, even sadistic at times, but don’t judge me he deserves it.

How much humour, sarcasm/ positivity can I create on my blog before people realise that my humour isn’t so straight forward. Besides no-one can be happy twenty four plus, but I do have a laughter release button. My husband.....  

GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa - half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe -well-developed and open to trade, especially for something of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain - very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece & gently aging, but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all-conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel - has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada - cool, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet - wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.... an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran - ruled by a couple of nuts

THE END.

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